We will be leaving before dawn and arriving in Port-au-Prince in the early morning hours.

I dread all the things I need to absorb, to bear and to encounter.

But I chose to arrive on March 8, International Women’s Day, because we must remember that hope lies with women, that without their involvement, perspectives and solutions, it would all be for naught; nothing would be viable. I want to support that which is on the horizon, beyond the rubble.

I miss one particular voice dreadfully: my mother’s voice has fallen silent. She is now bedridden and has lost her memory; Alzheimer’s disease has taken it from her. Just the same, I tell her, searching deep in her eyes for a light—a glimmer—that would be worth a thousand words. I try and tell her, not knowing whether she understands, that I’m going to Jacmel, to the place of her birth, to remember the many happy days from our previous life, long ago. 

After, I wrote to Martine, my long-time Haitian friend, to find out how people in Haiti are managing after the bagay la, or “the incident”, as Haitians prefer to call the earthquake there, not referring to it by name, so as not to tempt fate. Her reply was immediate: “It’s been nearly two months since the earthquake. The initial shock has begun to sink in. The panic caused by the aftershocks has subsided somewhat. And the initial grief has passed. But people need to get back on their feet and get on with life, despite unimaginable losses. When you come, you will be taken aback by how the country now looks. Our memory has been assaulted. Many of us here recount having gaps of memory and being disoriented. Sometimes, people don’t remember what used to be there on some of the streets they traveled each day. This wound will no doubt bring back the pain of your mother’s illness. But don’t forget that people here are trying to get back on their feet, and that you are coming to meet with them as a source of strength. It won’t be easy, but you have enough love and self-sacrifice within you for this difficult path.”

All this is what I will need to know, to understand, to receive and to do.